Wednesday, April 18, 2007

The dog ate my homework...

Well, no, not really. But it's the standard excuse for why something doesn't get done, right? I've never been a regular, consistent blogger, but I used to at least try to keep up with the whole SNTT thing.

The truth is something I've struggled with talking about, but have been told (by a "professional", no less) that putting it on paper, so to speak, can really help. And reading about the similar problems faced by other members of the Domino community has led me to try.

About two months ago, I thought I was having a heart attack. Horrendous pressure in my chest, trouble breathing, all kinds of stuff. I went to the emergency room, where they did two EKGs, a CAT scan, and three separate cardiac blood panels, as well as keeping me on oxygen all night. After thirteen hours, the verdict was: there ain't nothin' wrong with my heart. They discreetly suggested it might all be in my head, and recommended a shrink.

So I went. I may be the only person on earth who's made it to almost-35 without ever having seen a therapist/psychiatrist/etc. He diagnosed general anxiety disorder with localized panic attacks. Of course, it's going to take years to determine exactly what caused this to start now (hopefully my insurance will cover it), but for now he's put me on Lexapro, an antidepressant which is also used to treat generalized anxiety. It's my second week on the drug, and I can't really say I've noticed a difference, but he said it could take four to six weeks to kick in, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I'm also trying to cut out caffeine (almost 2 liters of Diet Pepsi a day) - I've managed to cut down, but I'm not certain that the withdrawal isn't contributing to the anxiety.

The good news is, I've been so nervous and nauseous that I've lost 12 lbs. in two weeks. I've also found that, at least temporarily, exercise helps to head off the attacks. So, in addition to my regular tennis classes three evenings a week, I've also started going to our office gym every day at lunch. I need to lose at least 40 lbs., so I'm hoping this will kick-start things.

So, that's my excuse. I feel so... cleansed :o) I doubt anyone's still paying attention to this sorry excuse for a blog, but at least I got it down in pixels, so my homework for the week is complete.